The more time goes by the more I realize just how different us boys really are (I suppose having been one once still qualifies me to write about this topic). The differences are not purely social or culture-based, they are often fueled by now well-documented hormonal and chemical differences. Does this mean we’re all the same? Not by a long-shot, but it does mean that at some level we all connect. This article is my attempt to propose a list of things which should impress most boys, regardless of their cultural and emotional hand-baggage. Curious about how to impress a boy you’ve come to like? Read on!
Boys Need Validation
Men like to feel that at some level they fundamentally stand for something that distinguishes them. This means identifying and recognizing an angle in his life that he prides himself in, such as musical talent or intelligence. The presence of a significant other or friend who makes us feel worthy, who caresses our often fragile self-confidence (whether evident or not), who spurs us forward, makes us feel like a king. The feeling we get when we know someone has faith in our abilities is staggeringly addictive, healthy and not something we would ever want to do without. Nail this and you will stand out. Promise.
My advice is to take one thing he does differently, and to let him know that you know it makes him stand apart. Of course, making fun of absolutely everything else is also equally mandatory (and I’m only partly joking when I say this).
Boys Crave Directness
Men have a far harder time reading between the lines than women generally think. While a girl thinks she’s sending subtle, but noticeable cues to a boy, in reality, it goes right by our heads. Whoosh…
Being moderately direct reduces a great deal of communication stress and allows for us guys to feel comfortable around you, leading to trust and empathy. This doesn’t beating us over the head with a sign-post, but it does involve a measure of transparency. We love it when things make practical sense. Mean what you say and say what you mean.
Make Him Laugh
Attraction for guys isn’t all about the alluring call of the bed-sheets. It is predominately forged in the fires of the emotion that we associate with you. What this means is that you are to us what you want to be for us. Pan-sexual communication is often littered with self-imposed boundaries that we all fundamentally wished weren’t there (can we agree on this?). We all dread the “job interview” style date, and generally can’t wait to really get to know the person behind the mask.
Using humor is the quickest way to breach this particular barrier. Consider also that often we — as men — feel that it is our job to make you laugh. If you can play the same beat back not only will you have reduced the stress involved in our stand-up act, but you will also have created a tangible amount of attraction. Win-win!
Boys Will Be Boys
Consider the follow mantra often slurred between one pint and another by groups of guys everywhere in the world.
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. (Albert Einstein)
To me, this doesn’t necessarily imply that in order to appease a man, a woman must be willing to surrender her own hopes and compromise (that would hardly be fair). But that men often feel compelled to be someone else with their girlfriend in order to appease. Which makes both parties unhappy in the long-run, because — ultimately — it’s an act, and she knows it. My advice would be to let the boy feel comfortable with his occasional outbursts of overt masculinity or childishness (and vice-versa).
Proof-positive of accepting his imperfection perfectly as a tool for attraction is well-known in popular media. There’s a reason why for many boys adore the idea of a “gamer-girl” (possibly a bad example, but you get the idea) is so alluring, and it’s simply because a man feels he can be himself one-hundred-thousand-percent in her presence. Hormone rushes, sudden and irreconcilable competitiveness, tunnel vision and on… It’s all part and parcel of being hard-wired as a male exemplar. Accept it, and he’ll love you for it (or at the very least be himself).