How to Keep the Romance Going In A Long Distance Relationship

Keeping the fire alive without the privilege of three of the five senses can seem like a daunting long-term challenge.

A romantic handicap of this sort, however, does not immediately mean the fun’s over. Distance can provide the perfect catalyst for attraction by reminding both parties what the other person truly means to us, as long as the inevitable upsurge of insecurity can be periodically channeled and dealt with.

A future together

The only point I feel confident enough to make regarding cushioning insecurity is that of making sure that something, somewhere in the future (even if it is a remote future) unites you. This might mean obsessing over a perfect summer vacation six months down the line, or simply cracking a light-hearted joke about what you re going to do to them when you get your hands on them.

While this exercise may seem redundant, its purpose is largely subconscious. Keeping the glue firmly around a semblance of structure despite the shifting nature of your new-found physical distance.

Out with the old, in with the new

Novelty is the spice that keeps the flames of attraction burning. A long-distance relationship might mean having to settle for a less personal romantic array of options, but it does give you both new things to try. Come to think of it, an almost endless amount of things to try. A good way to keep the fire burning is by constantly trying new things, both with regards to your sex life, and with regards to affection and support.

Thankfully, modern leaps in technological advancement makes distance seem almost negligible. Web-cams, smart phones and social media mean that staying in touch, and providing a synthetic canvas for intimacy, is both easy and comfortable.

Understandably, not everyone is going to feel comfortable professing affection via a virtual environment. My advice would be to try it anyway, if nothing else, it will be something to chuckle about the next time you do meet.

Reconsider your relationship standards

Finding your groove in a long distance relationship means being realistic about your expectations and emotional needs. The old rules no longer apply. A change in scenery will almost always mean a change in priorities. The lack of a tangible romantic presence will often further catalyze a drop in attention.

Dealing with the resulting insecurity is a team effort, but by accepting in advance that it is natural for the romantic connection to seemingly thin-out a little, it can become manageable. My only personal caveat regarding this would be that I would personally need to feel that it was temporary in order for me to accept it — but hey — that’s just me.

Less is more

One thing working for a couple when it comes to attraction in long distance relationships is that less is almost always more. The more you have access to something, the more it becomes trivial and taken for granted. Conversely, the less you have of something you took for granted, the more you will covet it.

Of course, this presupposes that a deep well of feeling is already present, otherwise it is easy for a monogamous relationship to become monogamish. Ultimately distance will separate the men from the boys (figuratively speaking). If it stands the test of time, despite the obstacles, it invariably becomes stronger than ever before.

About the author

James Nelmondo

James "the Unknown" Nelmondo is a self-styled relationship enthusiast, former infant, part-time dumper and full-time dumpee.

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