Let’s Talk Relationships

Hi, I’m James. The Unknown is a free online relationship advice repository and breakup support community. A home for those who don’t believe in magic bullets, but are looking for a ray of clarity to craft their own solutions.

Questions To Ask When An Ex Comes Back

When An Ex Comes Back

There is no state of  skepticism quite as poignant as that of the return of a left-for-romantically-dead ex. What do they want? Why now? How do I feel about this? Our gut-borne defensiveness is not coincidental, and is absolutely not misplaced. It’s there for a reason, a reason which is at least a thousand words … Read more

How To Stop Resenting Your Ex And Find Peace


I am not here to judge how worthy of resentment an ex is, that is up to you alone to decide. Instead, this article is based upon a single judgement-free premise, that holding onto our pain allows it to define us, and consequently the fires of our anger only end up scorching our own sense … Read more

Why Exes Stop Talking: Moving On Or Manipulation?


Even if we are fundamentally accepting of a breakup (and that’s a big if), being on the receiving end of distilled silence tends to exacerbate trauma and ferment insecurity. Have they stopped caring? Have they met someone else or moved on entirely? Is it a wicked ego-driven game to starve me of my resolve? While … Read more

Bad Reasons To Call After A Breakup

tying loose ends

I can count the number of good reasons to call on one hand. Although it may seem a cold and inhuman reaction to dealing with a complex connection, my gripe with post-breakup communication isn’t ubiquitous or paranoid. There really are good reasons to call, but chances are ours isn’t one of them. The breakup was … Read more

Here’s What A Healthy Relationship Looks Like

healthy relationship

One of my most often repeated mantras on relationship health is that lack of friction is not an indicator that all is going well, au contraire, it can actually be a sign that one or both parties are beyond negotiating. I offer this example not to instill fear in the hearts of those experiencing a … Read more

Overcoming Past Relationship Issues That Hold Us Back

relationship end

There’s no way around it, we are — at least in part — a product of our past relationship experiences, and now the failures of yesterday haunt the expectations of our tomorrow. But hold on a minute. What if instead of demonizing our inner devils we come to terms with them by having them work … Read more

How To Tell A Guy You Don’t Like Him (The Right Way)


I’ve become increasingly appreciative (although not always in the short-term, nobody is particularly fond of having their ego served back to them on a platter, but in the long-run — definitely) of women people who know how to shut down a romantic avenue that they know is leading nowhere, fast. However, I do understand that … Read more

Signs A Breakup Is Just Around The Corner

signs a breakup is coming

As bleak as the question is, weighing whether or not our relationship is nearing its finish line is a great way to stop taking it all for granted. Whether you are here because of a specific reason, or are just doing a little introspective maintenance, I feel that periodically asking ourselves this question is a … Read more

Tips To Help You Get Back Together With Your Ex

repairing a relationship

While there are no scientifically proven methods of reconciliation that have stood the test of time, there are definitely ways in which we can improve our chances without burying what’s left of our dignity. To the point then, here’s what I won’t be using to make my case: Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP): While NLP can have … Read more

The Truth About Being Dumped For No Reason

The Truth About Being Dumped For No Reason 1

What’s worse than seeing a relationship you worked hard to construct collapse in a broken pile of what ifs? If you ask me it’s undoubtedly watching it evaporate senselessly without any discernible cause. Without the benefit of reason on our side, we’re left to piece together an emotional jig saw puzzle that’s missing half its … Read more

How To Make Sense Of An Ex’s Confusing Behavior

confusing ex

Making sense out of chaos, given the stakes and emotions involved, is one of the most daunting tasks to face once the curtains have fallen on a relationship. In a wild attempt to cover all my bases, I’ve attempted to structure the article in three distinct acts. I’ll discuss why confusion is both natural and … Read more

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