I am neither a player, nor am I as promiscuous as I’d often like to be. As with all things, attraction can be hit and miss and there are no absolutes to guide you safely into a new romantic harbor. What I can bring to the table involves personal experience, research, the willingness to fail and a subjective understanding of what signs have consistently led to greener pastures — for me. Having said that, I’ll refrain from discrediting myself further and jump right into the good stuff.
She gives you her time
Time is an invaluable commodity, and many women simply will not waste it on projects which are doomed to fail. If she spends time with you, or would like to, be advised she is usually pushing other things aside in order to make it happen. In other words, you’re now ranking highly on her ladder of priorities.Does this mean she loves you? Not so fast, but it does signify that the foundations are there. Trust, respect, comfort and most importantly of all, fun.
If your anxiety is feeding you fears of being “friend-zoned“, ask yourself honestly whether you’d invest all that time on seeing a girl if you weren’t minimally interested. Not likely! Just make sure you remain a positive association for her, and not her therapist (or you risk dampening her attraction for you, being used, and ultimately feeling led on).
She compliments you
To most men, complimenting our date, or girls we find attractive is so natural we barely realize we’re doing it. Women, however, are very sparse with compliments, and more often than not impart them in ways which we are blind to. But when a compliment is given know that it is usually sincere, and not mere pleasantry. More than this, they want you to know they are impressed (thus giving you more confidence to move forward if it is a date).
Pay attention to the kind of compliment given. Compliments regarding your good health, body or status are even rarer, and usually indicate a ripple of underlying sexual tension. If in doubt, look to her body language to gauge her level of sincerity (more on this later).
Because her body says so
It is my belief that women are far more conscious of the other conversation going on — that of your bodies. In fact, I’ll add that what you say is undoubtedly less important than how you say it, in a dating scenario. It is easy to lie with words, and historically and genetically speaking, women have had far more to lose than men when it comes to finding the wrong partner. Because of this, know that your body language is being analyzed, decoded and sized-up.
Becoming aware of this other conversation is often a remarkable turning point for most guys. It levels the playing field, allowing you to stand-out and have a measure of control over how you are being perceived. Not only that, but you can also play the game right back. Be on the look out for these great signs of interest:
- Exposing her neck (subconscious display of trust by exposing a vulnerable area).
- Playing with her hair (drawing your attention to one of her best and most attractive assets).
- Her body faces you (indicating where her attention lies).
- Prolonged eye contact (trust, attraction and interest).
- Leans in (drawing you closer).
- Her tone and speed of voice match yours (imitation, or rapport, is a quintessential example of flattery. Notice how close friends and lovers mimic each other’s body language almost identically).
- And on…
You can never learn enough about body language, and these were but a few poor examples. If you see a number of these being acted out, I’d say you’re onto something. Be advised that some women will demonstrate the opposite set of body language principles, even if they are attracted, because they are shy or insecure (they may even ignore you entirely). In these cases the only option is jumping the gun and asking them.
They make you feel like a comedian
There is no quicker path to love, than via a copious amount of natural laughter. Not only is she showing you that she likes to be in your presence, it might soon turn into something she would rather not risk doing without. Nobody spends their entire life laughing, which means that you are able to take her away from her everyday stress, and that she views you as a distinct and positive aspect of her life. Simply put, if you have the power to make her laugh, you have the power to make her love.
Before concluding this article, I wanted to spare a couple of thoughts regarding what we call our “gut instinct”. I haven’t always been right about my hunches, but I have lost far more by not acting on them than I have gained by dodging a perceived bullet. Strangely, fascinatingly, it tends to be right. I believe is boils down to what I mentioned earlier regarding body language. Building “rapport” and trust can be achieved without words, a good gut feeling is your subconscious’ way of alerting you of this fact. That while things may seem a little sketchy on the surface, a tango is being danced below the surface.