This article marks a break from my usual diatribe regarding a relationship downward spiral. Instead, I’ll be looking at the often-neglected flip-side, in the form of seven solid signs your boyfriend really does love you and isn’t just putting on an act.
As always, no two guys are necessarily alike, and there are no hard-and-fast rules. Pride, fear and insecurity can make mice out of men and men out of mice. Ultimately, consider this my subjective opinion (from a distinctly male perspective) of traits and behaviors that indicate he’s head over heels for you, and not just uttering sweet, vacuous nothings.
1. He’s willing to compromise
There is a chasm between saying something and doing something in relationships. A man who is willing to meet you half way is tacitly re-affirming his long-term commitment (lord knows how loathe we are to change our habits).
A man who truly cares will weigh your needs and wants almost as keenly as his own. Communication is paramount, but the action(s) that follow are even more telling. Even small adjustments are a sign he’s in it for the long haul.
2. It’s in the details
Men (yes, that would include me), tend to view relationships with a broad-stroke mentality. If we make an effort to care for the small details, and not just the big picture, it’s a great sign we are not taking the proceedings for granted.
3. You feel involved
A man who attempts to include you in all aspects of his life is not only showing you that he enjoys your presence, he is also demonstrating a great deal of pride in you.
While a man who tends to keep certain areas of his life separate from the relationship may not be doing so to hide something he’d prefer you didn’t know, it doesn’t bode well when it comes of long-term trust building. Especially if he is made aware that his tendency to disappear is breeding insecurity.
Promoting transparency and focusing on communication are hallmarks of a man who both loves and respects you.
4. Because he tells you so
While I have been quasi-dictatorial in judging your partner with action and not words, there is a lot to be said for a man who tells you in no uncertain terms that he is, in fact, in love.
Men are notoriously taciturn when it comes to professing love vocally. It betrays need, and displaying our vulnerability is not something we are hardwired to do (in most cases). If your boyfriend does not shy away from telling you how he feels (even if it isn’t said frequently) take it as a good sign he means exactly what he says. If his words are echoed by his actions — you have a winner.
5. He’s all over the place
Nothing unsettles us more than dealing with someone we love. The problem with this is that we often close-up or act in ways that would have you think the exact reverse. If your relationship is still fresh, and a comfort-zone hasn’t yet blanketed the relationship, there is every chance that he’s a total wreck around you.
One way to attempt to make sense of our projected chaos is to take a whirl through some superficial male body language tips. However, much of the time navigating the thin red line between attraction and disinterest is an exercise in futility, and only time will allow you to lock-in on his underlying feelings. As a general rule of thumb I would personally add that if there is a marked discrepancy between how he acts with others, and how he acts with you, there is a good chance you have the ability to make his blood rush.
6. He futures you
A man who isn’t committed to the relationship will avoid talking of your future like the plague. However, if he shows a degree of enthusiasm, or at the very least is open to planning a future in common — he probably means it.
If he has a habit of involving you in pet projects, no matter how small, that have an eye on the future, you can be almost certain that he isn’t only in it for the good times.
7. He loves to show you off
Not to be confused with the tendencies of the socially narcissistic (who might view you as a nice ornamental piece), a man who is in love can’t wait to introduce you to his tightly knit social circles. To those who truly matter — and is stubbornly fearless before their judgment. This shows that his pride extends beyond the superficial. And that beneath his chameleonic exterior lies a deep well of respect for you as an individual.
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