75 Warning Signs Your Ex Isn’t Over You

Welcome to my monstrously large list of signs your ex probably isn’t over you. I say probably because on a list that features no less than 75 signs, even those of us who have felt the whip of a fierce and terminal breakup will find something to keep the hope alive (which is never a healthy past-time).

If a majority of these signs have you nodding sullenly, then perhaps they really aren’t over you. Consider the list as a whole, but absolutely do not get caught up on one of two isolated points.

Now that my disclaimer is out of the way, on we go.

The list

1) They tell you they hate you.

2) They answer messages promptly.

3) They play hot and cold.

4) They swiftly enter a rebound relationship.

5) They make a show of letting you know how much better they’re doing.

6) The lines of communication remain open.

7) They tell you so.

8) Your mutual acquaintances are asking a few too many questions about the breakup for it to be a coincidence (someone pass me my tin foil hat).

9) You bump into them all the time.

10) Drunk dials.

11) They block you off all social networks (watching a highlight reel of you moving on without them is painful).

12) They talk behind your back.

13) They attempt to embarrass you publicly.

14) They hang on to your stuff (it provides a future point of contact when you need it back).

15) There is a large discrepancy between how they act with you publicly and privately.

16) They make a show of how much they’ve improved themselves (oh hey, I work out *flex*)

17) Their attitude towards you seems to change daily.

18) They seek emotional validation from you.

19) They ask for your advice.

20) They conjure up bizarre and cryptic reasons to contact you.

21) Your mutual acquaintances tell you so.

22) They’re uncharacteristically apologetic.

23) They seek to correct errors of the past (attempting to become who you wanted them to be).

24) If you cut contact or block them they react impulsively, jealously or coldly.

25) They generally tend to overreact.

26) Their lifestyle changes abruptly and manically (once I was an introvert, but all of a sudden I’m a party animal — or vice-versa).

27) They show overt signs of stress (substance abuse, rapid weight change, anxiety).

28) They start a blog to chronicle their emotional pain (yes, that’s me.)

29) They spend a great deal of time with their family.

30) Your gut instinct tells you so (don’t underestimate it).

31) Their body language betrays them.

32) They seek to escalate contact from the impersonal (email) to the personal (face to face).

33) They attempt to control and manipulate your decisions.

34) They finger-point and indulge in guilt-games.

35) They attempt to make you angry (bad attention is better than no attention at all — it keeps you hooked).

36) Despite acting coldly, they do make themselves available.

37) They try and make you jealous.

Confused by your ex’s behaviour? Learn about the five stages of grief.

38) They can’t be friends with you.

39) They tell you they’ve changed (despite only having been broken up a month).

40) They are bitter and condescending.

41) They get their kid, aunt, mother or family member to reach out to you. There’s nothing like a little emotional blackmail to delay both of your healing.

42) They’re in denial.

43) The whole breakup ordeal was either entirely your fault, or entirely theirs.

44) Their concentration and drive takes a hit (perhaps also adversely impacting their studies or job).

45) They let their ego do the talking.

46) Their fantastic new relationship lasted three weeks.

47) They tell you the only thing they’re willing to talk about is reconciliation.

48) They are unable to forgive themselves.

49) They say they are over it but desire closure.

50) They know the date you broke up (especially if they’re counting the days).

51) They bring up inside jokes.

52) Everything reminds them of you.

53) They call you but don’t say a word.

54) They become serial daters.

staring55) You catch them staring.

56) They are unsettled and nervous when you are present.

57) They contact you out of the blue without rhyme or reason.

58) They remember the details.

59) They take the time to send you more than just a “happy birthday”.

60) They are touchy-feely.

61) They mirror your body language.

62) You chose to remain friends but talk of new flirts and romances unsettles them.

63) They act as if they don’t know you.

64) They still go to clubs and pubs you used to go to together (in the off-chance they might run into you).

Is your ex confusing you? Here are signs your ex is playing games.

65) They talk about meeting you again in the future.

66) They offer a friends with benefits scenario (I actually don’t think this is a sign they miss the relationship, au contraire, but included it by popular demand).

67) They use no contact as a way to get you back, and not as a way to detox and heal.

68) They automatically dislike your new crush, flirt or partner.

69) They engage in mild to aggressive episodes of stalking. P.S: Harassment is not ok. If their behavior is beginning to worry you, you might want to read up about restraining orders.

70) They appear to move on very quickly.

71) They spend an unusual amount of time to themselves away from the social spotlight.

72) They become globe-trotters.

73) They use their Facebook feed as a weapon.

74) An everyday chit-chat always ends up being about the relationship.

75) They move house (the surroundings have probably become a painful cemetery of memories).

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